Archive for the ‘Free Association’ Category

Ambrose Burnside, Union General

While reading background material for these Old Testament books, I’ve noticed that the Prophets all have what the fashion mavens currently thronging New York would probably call “a look”. There’s a standard-issue beard for these guys.

Naturally, we don’t have photographs of the Prophets. So it’s possible that the samey-ness of the beards is a failure of imagination on the part of the artists. It’s possible that the Prophets had beards as dazzling and varied as those of American Civil War generals.

But while Ambrose Burnside here seems to be modeling gravitational fields with his facial furniture, the representations we have of the Prophets are less exciting.

Let’s start with Moses.



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I was kind of pleased with that phrase from the last post, and started thinking about how there might actually be a literal cult of Aaron Spelling characters someday, after we’ve all died from watering our plants with Brawndo and the cockroaches reach sentience and find tapes of Dynasty and Beverly Hills 90210.

It seemed to me that this would be the just fate for our current culture. It also seemed to me that there was one logical choice for the chief deity of this pantheon:

Alexis Colby from "Dynasty"

You could even address her Homerically: “Taut-browed love goddess, Alexis who weareth the turban”.

However, I have been beaten to the punch: she is already a cult figure elsewhere.


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