The Principles for Making Marriages Work: A Practical Guide from the Country’s Foremost Relationship Expert - A Comprehensive Summary
You have likely heard of the importance of communication in marriage many times over since you first got together with your spouse. Still, knowing the importance of communication and knowing how to apply strong communication skills to a marriage are two completely different things. While many people love to educate us on the importance of communicating with our partners, few ever actually tell us how. Fortunately for you, I am going to outline the importance of communication in marriages and exactly how you can begin strongly communicating with your spouse.
Knowing how to communicate effectively requires you to have the information around what effective communication is; a clear understanding of how to apply it, and a great deal of practice. Most times, poor communication skills are a result of bad habits and simply not knowing any better. It is rare that a person truly intends to communicate poorly with their spouse, or anyone else. After all, knowing the negative impact that poor communication can have on a relationship is reason enough to want to do better. That being said, practicing effective communication will require you to both learn new habits and break old ones.
Because you are looking to communicate better specifically with your spouse, it can be beneficial for you to read this book together with your spouse. When you are both working on these techniques together, it is easier for you both to have compassion for each other and patience for the lessons that you are learning together. It is also a good way to remind each other to practice better communication skills if you notice that your partner is practicing an old bad habit.
Furthermore, learning new things and growing together with your partner is a wonderful way to increase intimacy in your relationship. This happens by developing a layer of respect, which creates a sense of safety, which builds a feeling of trust, which nurtures the evolution of intimacy. When you spend time focusing on these four aspects together, as you will throughout this book, it is easier to improve the quality of your marriage in a way that is sustainable and lasting.
Communicating in your marriage is not always going to be easy. It is likely that if you are reading this book that your communication may have already reached a noticeable state of trouble. As a result, you may have healing that needs to be done in addition to improved communication. In this case, make sure that you are extra patient with each other and that you incorporate the healing that needs to be done into learning how to communicate with each other. This will support you both in healing the pain and creating a resolution that will help you prevent future hurt from taking root in your relationship.
Another reason why you may struggle with communication is that of the very intimacy that you share with your partner. Telling them about difficult or vulnerable pieces of information or dealing with conflict in a marriage can be challenging. Knowing how to deal with these more challenging parts of communication effectively can ensure that your difficult conversations end on a positive note. As a result, you and your spouse will end up feeling even closer to each other.
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